Slicing and Dicing the Taxpayers (satirical)

The District Mature Voters Association  (DMVA) will meet Thursday at 9:00 a.m. in the church basement to discuss its upcoming demand for property tax modification.  Based upon the fact that members of the DMVA have no students in SAD44, the central question will be whether to insist upon complete freedom from the school assessment portion of the local property tax or simply demand a 50% reduction in that portion of the bill to maintain some appearance of concern for the community. Coffee and donuts will be provided.  If you’re unable to attend, please send your vote proxy with a friend.

Alternative School Parents (ASP) will meet at the library at 7:00 p.m. Friday for tea and biscuits. Our attorney will be present to help us formulate our warrant article petition question freeing us from paying twice for education. Please bring all of your friends who send their children to private or parochial schools.  Home schooling parents are always welcome.  If you are unable to attend a Skype session will be available; contact information is on our Facebook page.

The Second Home Owners Group (SHOG) will meet Saturday morning at the meeting room at 10 for a break between runs to discuss our petition to change the tax funding formula to reflect school tax assessment only for the weeks we actually occupy our second homes.  Since these are generally school vacation weeks, we’ll be asking to reduce the final assessment by 50% for those weeks.  SHOG members who have returned home to begin the spring boating season may call in on the conference line at (207)555-3333, use group pin 782537.

Bachelors, bachelorettes and DINKS (BBAD) will meet at the pub Saturday night.  We’ll start in about 9 p.m. and expect the discussion to ramp up until closing.  Why the hell should we be paying to send all those grubby kids to school?  You created ‘em, you pay for ‘em, right? If you can’t make it, that’s your loss!

Clearly, we would be aghast if any of these groups were to form and begin demanding special treatment because their direct use of SAD44 services weren’t accurately reflected in their tax bills.  We would remind them of their civic responsibilities and shrug them off.  Everyone wants a special deal; no one should get one in civic matters.

If we were wise, we would move on and help ensure that our district graduates students who are better prepared for the emerging world than we are, who are healthy in mind and body, and who have a sense of responsibility to the well-being of their communities.

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Newry School District Withdrawal Threat

What started as a gripe among a few Newry taxpayers about the quality of our public education and the District's longstanding funding formula has morphed several times and taken on a sad life of its own.  At a recent breakfast meeting of the Chamber of Commerce the situation provoked passionately delivered fears and thoughtful rejoinders.  Absent was much discussion about community engagement in the improvement of our schools; front and center was a deep philosophical divide over the assessment question.

On one side of the divide stood those devoted to lower property taxes and their right to withdraw their town from the community’s school district if their town's school tax assessment wasn’t favorably modified.  This group was joined by petitioners who found appeasement value in a funding formula modification.  The petitioners talked about “playing Russian roulette with the school district” and fear about “educating my grandchildren” in their efforts to dissuade those opposed to appeasement as they sought to secure yet another vote on assessment formula modification.

On the other side of the divide stood many who saw this whole matter as a shakedown by some citizens of the town with the lowest tax rate in the District.  Some noted there can be no assurance that appeasement of the current demands would lead to anything more than some quiet before the next withdrawal threat and encouragement of such anti-District behavior going forward.

I left saddened by the thought that there will be no winner in this unfortunate standoff. The District will be left to suffer the morale impact of the current threat and lingering doubt about the value held by the District's citizens for educating its youth.